


"You Coming Kleinman?"

by theinsanelygayjaredkleinman



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Child Neglect, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, References to Depression, Underage Drinking, Underage Substance Use, galaxy girls, i dont know how to tag sorry, it's really gay, its also garbage sorry, jared-centric, possible smut??, sincerely three, this is a mess im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:16:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsanelygayjaredkleinman/pseuds/theinsanelygayjaredkleinman
Summary: The story of how Jared, Connor, and Evan got together.Pls read this summary is bad and so is this story but you might get some enjoyment out of how terrible it is. Constructive criticism please! <3





	1. Never Be Late To Class

**Author's Note:**

> here take this trash

Jared ran out of his math class as soon as the bell rang. He always wanted to get to Computing 101 early for two reasons: 1. The teacher wasn't in the room yet to yell at him for seemingly no reason at all, and 2. He could claim the only swivel chair in the computer lab besides the teachers. And let it be said that Jared Kleinman would not sink down to the level of sitting in a normal chair. (Literally, considering the swivel chair was at a much higher elevation.)

  
He fast-walked down the crowded hallway, dodging fellow classmates and various objects being thrown around. He turned left down a considerably less populated hallway only to come face-to-face with Alana Beck.

  
Jared didn't really mind Alana. As long as you didn't get her going on one of her tirades about her extracurricular activities or her role as the head of the schools marginally tiny GSA, she was perfectly fine to talk to. But Jared didn't want to talk. He didn't have time to. _Swivel chair,_ he thought anxiously.

  
Alana smiled broadly at him. It looked painful. "Hi Jared!" she said brightly, "how are you doing? What class are you going to next? I have trigonometry. We had a test last week, and I totally bombed it. I got an 83! It brought my overall grade from a 97 to a 96! I can't have that, I have to keep my GPA at least a 4.0. Anyway, did you want to sit with me, Zoe, and some of her jazz band friends at lunch? It'd be really cool if you did! What do you think?"

  
Jared blinked really hard and tried not to have an aneurysm. Deep breath in, deep breath out. He gathered his jumbled thoughts and sorted through them. Alana had invited him to sit with her at lunch. Jared did not want to sit with her at lunch. _Tell her to fuck off Kleinman,_ he told himself. Another deep breath. _Time to be an asshole._

  
"Yeah, no thanks Beck. I'll have to pass on sitting with you and your acquaintences." He put a douchey smirk on his face, "now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to class." He ignored the pang of guilt in his chest when he saw her face fall and brushed past her, his swivel chair long-forgotten, replaced with a sick feeling in his stomach.

  
As he hurried down the hall, he heard Alana shout behind him uncertainly, "maybe another time?"

  
He gave no indication that he had heard her and quickly dove into the boys bathroom. He slammed the stall door shut behind him and clicked the lock into place. He immediately slid down the wall, his jansport bag digging uncomfortably into his back. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck breathe Kleinman you have FUCKING BREATHE_. His chest felt tight and his stomach was naseous. His ears were ringing and his head hurt and _shit why can't I breathe?_

  
Eventually Jared realized that the ringing in his ears was actually the bell, which meant he was late for class. He debated on just skipping, but then decided that he'd rather get hell for being a minute late then get hell tomorrow for skipping Mr. IHateChildren's class.

  
He stood up on shaky legs and unlocked the stall door. He studied his appearance for a few seconds. He splashed water on his face and then dried it off with some paper towels. He took another breath and then stepped out into the empty hallway.

  
He walked down the hall slowly, feeling the judgemental eyes of teachers who were still standing at their doors on him. He hunched in on himself, a habit left over from his middle school days when he'd had to hide from bullies everyday. He finally reached the computer lab.

  
He opened the door and strolled in, casual as one can be when expecting certain death, right as Mr. H was in the middle of yelling at another student. Jared could see the vein popping out of his forehead, and he was pretty sure he felt some spittle land on his shirt. He looked to see the source of Mr. H's unbridled frustration, and stopped cold in his attempt to tiptoe his way to the empty seat two feet away without being noticed.

  
There was Connor Murphy, sitting in his swivel chair, his feet up on the desk in front of him, a nonchalant look on his tired face. His eyes were red with a few bags under them, which most likely meant he had been smoking weed.

  
Jared and Connor had a complicated relationship. Connor had recently become bffs with Evan Hansen after Connor had tried to kill himself, and then his parents had mistaken Evan's weird sex letter for Connor's suicide note, constructing a ball of lies that would roll down a hill of deciept and confusion and possible subtext homo erotica. Because Jared was Evan's only actual friend, naturally he was enlisted to help fake emails between the two and overall keep the lie from crashing and burning. He'd hardly interacted with Connor throughout the entire process, except to ask him about emails. At least Connor had stopped calling him "dipshit" and moved on to "Kleinman". Which was fine. If he wanted to play the last name game, Jared would too.

  
"THE NERVE OF YOU MURPHY! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD SHOW UP LATE TO MY CLASS. THIS IS WHY YOU MILLENIALS ARE ALL GOING TO FAIL. YOUR SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT IS ASTONISHING TO ME! WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE..." Mr. H went on and on, and Jared finally snapped out of his stupor. But by then, it was too late. Murphy had noticed him, and was now staring at him, one eyebrow raised. Jared swallowed and, with his head held high, started to make his way over to the empty seat again. This time, he had almost made it when Mr. H finally noticed him.

  
"AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Does he ever use a normal speaking voice? Jared wondered. When he didn't respond, Mr. H went on, "ANOTHER STUDENT LATE TO MY CLASS! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, BOTH OF YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT? BOTH OF YOU, TO THE OFFICE, NOW. I WILL NOT DEAL WITH THIS KIND OF DISRESPECT IN MY OWN CLASSROOM!"

  
Jared stared at Mr. H for a second, sure that the vein in his forehead was going to burst and he was going to die in his own classroom and then Jared would be partially responsible, and then he would go to jail for manslaughter, and shit he can not go to jail-

  
Then Murphy snorted and picked up his backpack. His long legs strolled across the classroom until he stopped in front of the door. He looked over his shoulder right at Jared. "You coming Kleinman?"

  
Jared looked back at Mr. H, who's piercing gaze was sucking the very heart and soul out of Jared. Well, if he had a heart and soul. "Whatever" he mumbled, and followed Murphy out of the classroom.

  
After shutting the door behind himself, Jared looked forward again to find Murphy several feet in front of him, walking the opposite direction of the office. Deciding that he had no other options, Jared jogged to catch up with him. Once he finally had, he struggled to keep pace with him. Those damn long legs he thought. He had never hated being short more than he did right now.

  
Eventually they reached the glass doors that led out of the school. Murphy pushed open the door and then turned to look back at Jared, who was still standing in the hallway.  
"You coming Kleinman?" He asked, in a parallel to what he'd said just a few minutes earlier. He had his eyebrow quirked and everything.

  
"I took the bus this morning", Jared said truthfully. He had; it was the reason he had been so on edge today. His car had broken down yesterday, and it was still in the shop getting fixed. "I'll just skip out in the bathroom until next class."

  
And then Murphy surprised him. "I'll drive you home."

  
Jared froze, his brain unable to process this. Connor Murphy. Drive me home. Connor. Murphy. Drive me home in his beat up truck that somebody probably died in twenty years ago. _Tell him to fuck_ _off Kleinman._

  
"Sure", he said instead and swears that he will regret this no matter what.

  
"Alright then", Murphy said in a casual tone, holding the door open for him. Probably because he's high as fuck Jared mused.

  
As he walked across the parking lot and then sat down in the passenger seat of Connor Murphy's car, Jared wondered just what exactly he'd gotten himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed the paragraphs!! Thanks to the person who commented and helped me out with that it is much appreciated <3


	2. The Real Question Is: Who Doesn't Go To Kroger After Skipping School?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Connor go to Kroger. Alternative chapter title: "Oh No, He's Hot"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for all the positive feedback! I'm still working out where exactly I want this to go, but I'm excited!

Jared shifted uncomfortably on his torn up leather seat. He thinks the rips in the side were cut with a knife. Which is fine. He's fine. Everything's fine. Except he's in Connor Murphy's truck and the noises it's making make him think it's going to break down any second and he thinks that if it did Murphy would most definitely cut him up just like he obviously did to his passenger seat. Honestly, Jared thinks he'd be okay with that at this point.

Speaking of Murphy, he was now looking at Jared expectantly _. Shit he said something to me_ Jared thought. "Um, sure?" He says intelligently, because he's the smartest dumbass there ever was and he thinks that if he just agrees with whatever Murphy said he won't murder him and leave him in a ditch on the side of the road for some poor snooping kids to find.

Murphy just nods, and then turns left, the opposite direction of Jared's house and _dear lord I probably just agreed to be a fucking sacrifice for some cult and they're going to like, drink my blood or some weird shit._ He really did not want to be a cult sacrifice. That was not how he had planned to go out.

And then they pulled into the Kroger parking lot. _Somehow, this is worse._ Now he was going to have to stand awkwardly while Murphy picked out fucking rice krispies and peanut butter. _He probably eats chunky peanut butter_ Jared thought. _He seems like the kind of sick bastard that would eat chunky peanut butter._

And then Murphy was getting out of the truck and Jared snapped out of his musings about Connor Murphy's possible horrednous peanut butter preferences to struggle in unbuckling his seatbelt. He called out angrily when Murphy just kept walking away, "hey dickhead! Wait for me!"

Murphy turned around and raised _that damn eyebrow_ at him. Jared eventually staggered his way out of the truck. When he had caught up to Connor, who had started walking again, he muttered a small "dick".

Murphy retaliated immediately. "Dipshit" he said, louder than Jared had. Jared frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Whatever" he pitifuly mustered up. Murphy smirked, knowing he had won.

They walked in, the air conditioning hitting them right away. It felt amazing, especially considering that it was still summer and both boys had on long sleeves. Connor with his signature edgy black hoodie, and Jared with an unbuttoned button-up shirt on over his t-shirt.

Murphy went immediately to the soda isle as soon as they had walked in through the second set of automatic doors. Jared followed behind reluctantly.

He stopped in front of the Mountain Dew. He looked at all the flavors for a few moments, obviously contemplating which to get. He eventually decided on getting a 2-liter of Mountain Dew Code Red. He cradled it in his left arm and then moved to the next aisle over.

He got pickles, a six-pack of jello cups, granola bars, and a bag of rice that he made Jared carry. Finally, they made it to the peanut butter aisle. Murphy stood there for a moment, again looking at his options. Finally, he picked up a jar of chunky peanut butter.

"I knew it!" Jared exclaimed, pleased with himself while also disgusted by the sight of the chunky peanut butter. Murphy looked at him like he had grown three heads.

"The fuck?" He said, obviously not getting what Jared had said.

"I knew you were the kind of person to eat chunky peanut butter", Jared said, triumphant.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Murphy asked, his eyebrows starting to narrow. Jared was now getting legitimately scared that he was in danger of getting stabbed. Note to self: do not anger Connor Murphy. But really, when had Jared ever followed his own advice or used logic? The answer is never.

"Yeah dude", he snarked, "Only freaks eat chunky peanut butter. It's fucking weird. Like, I bet it's what psychopaths and ax-murderers eat." If Jared didn't stop soon, it was likely that he himself would be ax-murdered. He didn't stop. "Only crazy people eat that shit. It's what they serve in psych wards." A little far, but that's basically his brand by now.

"Oh really", Murphy said, looking pretty amused, "and you know first-hand what they serve in the psych ward?"

It was a joke. Jared knew that, and he told himself that, but it didn't stop the sinking feeling in his gut. _Connor doesn't know. It's okay. It's a joke. Laugh at his joke before you get murdered with an ax._

Jared snorted, attempting to relax by convincing himself that he was unbothered. "Getting the roles mixed up, Murphy", he said, praying that his voice wasn't shaking. And, just because he was a dick and apparently didn't know how to be nice and interact normally with other human beings, he added for good measure, "how'd that hospital food taste?" And wow Jared wanted to die but _not like this you idiot._

Murphy stared at him for a good few seconds in which Jared started mentally running through his will before he tipped back his head and laughed. Now it was Jared's turn to look at Connor like he had grown three heads.

"Why the hell are you laughing?" Jared asked, honestly confused. Connor laughed for a while more before finally composing himself.

"It's just.." he laughed a bit more, "nobody has even acknowledged my attempt since then, let alone make a joke about it." He laughed again, shaking his head, his long hair flying across his face. Once he had finally stopped laughing, he tucked the strands behind his ear, a small smile still on his face.

_Great,_ Jared thought, _not only is he a psychopath, he's also a hot psychopath. This is just like Heathers._

"Come on", Connor said finally, "let's go checkout."

As Connor walked away, there was only one thought going through Jared's head.

_I'm so fucked._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no Evan in this fic so far, which I will remedy soon, don't worry.


	3. Jared Is Only Slightly Lonely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor drops off Jared and Evan makes a cameo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes it's been a really long time guys. I'm super sorry about that but I kinda got out of DEH fics for a while there. I'm back now though!

"Here we are." Connor said, looking over at Jared once he had unlocked the car doors. Jared sat awkwardly for a second, unsure if he should make a joke along the lines of _"thanks for not murdering me",_ but decided against it. Connor might take it as a challenge.

"Um, thanks for driving me home." Jared said, his voice sounding alien and flustered even to him, and he was sure his face was turning red. _Jared tone down your gay please._

"No problem." Connor said, and dammit there was that eyebrow again. _Shit shit shit he knows your creepy and gay and probably have some weird kink about getting murdered by high school psychopaths who are really hot and have nice hair and damn that bone structure-_

"I'llseeyoulaterbye!" Jared said all in one breath. He was afraid that if he let his brain keep going on that tirade, he would not like what it came up with. _Especially_ when the subject of said tirade was sitting right next to him. He practically jumped out of the car and bounded his way up his driveway to his front door.

 

As soon as he was inside, Jared took an exaggerated breath. _In, out._ He needed to take his mind off of Connor Murphy. He weighed his options.

His Mom wasn't home. She was gone on business for the next week and a half. His Dad worked all day and even if he didn't, Jared wouldn't want to talk to him anyway. The kid next door that he used to rant to had moved away last month. That leaved only one option for Jared. He decided to call up his good ol pal Evan Hansen.

After climbing the stairs two at a time to reach his room, Jared plopped down onto his bed and pulled up his contacts. He tapped on the one that read "Acorn Boy" and held the phone up to his ear. After a few rings, Evan answered.

"H-hello? Jared?"

"Hey Acorn! How's it going?"

 

"Jared I-I'm in cl-class right now."

"Oh yeah forgot about that. School's almost over though right? You wanna come over after school? Ya' know, to do my math homework for me and shit?"

"Jared you're al-already good at m-math. Als-also aren't y-you supp-supposed to be in school t-too?"

"Left early."

"Why? A-are you sick? I c-can't get sick y-you know that-"

"I'm not sick Acorn. Just wanted to leave. So you coming over?"

"I-I guess so."

"Alright cool see you then."

Jared hung up. Well, shit. Now he had to entertain himself until Evan got there. He got up and went downstairs in search of snacks. And maybe some alcohol. It had been a long day.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter's so short but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Remember constructive criticism is welcome :)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated if you enjoyed! If you didn't, tell me why! I'm looking to better my writing, please keep your criticism constructive <3


End file.
